My mom used to tell me a Russian saying -“на обиженных воду возять“. The translation doesn’t make any sense at all -“to carry water on the offended“. But, if you add a little bit of definition and proper grammar to it, a wise byword will come to light. The one who holds grudges suffers himself the most.
Yao and his colleagues researched if forgiving other people and oneself will lead to a higher self-esteem and a positive well-being. 475 college students were asked to fill in a whole pack of questionnaires. Students answered on different scales how high or low their self-esteem is, how forgiving they are, and what their personal well-being status is. Yao and his colleagues then analysed the answers and came up with a significant finding. Forgiving someone and oneself leads to positive well-being and leaves one with a high self-esteem.
You know what strength is? Forgiving someone who wasn’t even sorry. Don’t do it for them, do it for yourself. As you can see, there are more benefits to it.
Be happy, confident, don’t hold grudges and kill them with kindness!
Yao, S., Chen, J., Yu, X., & Sang, J. (2016). Mediator Roles of Interpersonal Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness between Self-Esteem and Subjective well-Being. Current Psychology, 36(3), 585–592.
Blog writer: Dalia Wolf